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# defining touch
- URL: https://down-by-law.ghost.io/defining-touch/
- Published: 2026-09-14T04:38:52.000Z
- Updated: 2026-09-14T04:38:51.000Z
- Author: Stacy Y. China

you never touched me  
I am sure this is one of your defenses  
it was never real  
nothing happened  
it wasn’t true  
because you never touched me

humph.

there was a day in the middle of fall  
it was already cold and the sun was already half-lit  
you talked to me about your trip   
and your dreams  
and your wishes  
none of which was particularly out of the ordinary, really  
but then came the book  
a large, coffee-table sized book  
you wanted me to see the work you admired  
the mastery you were searching for in yourself  
and I looked  
and I listened  
and as the pages turned, something happened  
you forgot about the other people standing around  
you forgot about the spectres of your other women,   
always hovering, even if rarely mentioned  
the pages turned  
and midway through the book  
there was only the book  
me  
and you  
everything else fell away

what I remember most  
is the sunlight  
and the warmth  
there was an already-cold November wind blowing  
and for the first time since late summer  
I wasn’t cold

the spell broke, of course  
I don’t remember how  
but you went back to work  
and I went back to class  
and slowly, my sweater came back in handy

before it did, though  
you touched me  
unmistakably  
on purpose  
with intent

so when you say nothing happened  
that may be true  
at least for you

but don’t ever say  
you never touched me

April 28th, 2013 12:09am