defining touch

you never touched me
I am sure this is one of your defenses
it was never real
nothing happened
it wasn’t true
because you never touched me

humph.

there was a day in the middle of fall
it was already cold and the sun was already half-lit
you talked to me about your trip 
and your dreams
and your wishes
none of which was particularly out of the ordinary, really
but then came the book
a large, coffee-table sized book
you wanted me to see the work you admired
the mastery you were searching for in yourself
and I looked
and I listened
and as the pages turned, something happened
you forgot about the other people standing around
you forgot about the spectres of your other women, 
always hovering, even if rarely mentioned
the pages turned
and midway through the book
there was only the book
me
and you
everything else fell away

what I remember most
is the sunlight
and the warmth
there was an already-cold November wind blowing
and for the first time since late summer
I wasn’t cold

the spell broke, of course
I don’t remember how
but you went back to work
and I went back to class
and slowly, my sweater came back in handy

before it did, though
you touched me
unmistakably
on purpose
with intent

so when you say nothing happened
that may be true
at least for you

but don’t ever say
you never touched me

April 28th, 2013 12:09am